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Masculine and Feminine Energy: Keeping A Balance

Angeli Sivaraman
Angeli Sivaraman
5 min read
Masculine and Feminine Energy: Keeping A Balance
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Table of Contents

This is one of my favorite topics and has been a common one among spiritual communities. Most of the info I am using for this post can be found in the book, The Bingo Theory: A revolutionary guide to love, life, and relationships, by Mimi Ikonn.

I read this book at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic and I still think about it from time to time. It has deeply impacted me!

While her book is about dating and relationships, I do believe she discusses some nuggets of wisdom that are relevant to our world.

The idea of divine masculine and divine feminine energy goes back to the beginning of time. In ancient Chinese culture, the yang (divine masculine) represents the sky and the yin (divine feminine) represents the earth for all the nourishing it provides.  In yogic traditions, Shiva (divine masculine) represents the sun and Shakti (divine feminine) represents the moon.

According to, the divine masculine represents our inner Warrior, and the divine feminine represents our inner Goddess.

Whether you consider it divine or not, masculine and feminine energy is all around us.

Every human has feminine and masculine energy. No matter what (if any) gender you may identify with, you are a wonderful combination of both divine masculine and divine feminine energy, to varying degrees.

Societal Pressure and Masculine/Feminine Energy

Society tells each of us how to act according to our gender from the day we were born. People perceived as males should be more dominant, active, and confident, and people perceived as females should be more nurturing, gentle, and caring.  

Depending on the way you grew up, you could have received messages from your family, culture, society, or religion telling you how to behave based on your perceived gender, or based on the dominant energy that was favored at the time.

For example, you could have been told to "man up" or "stop crying" when you were expressing your emotions if you were perceived as a male or if culture favored masculine energy.

Or, perhaps, you were told to "be nice" or "act like a lady" if you were perceived to identify as female, or if culture told you that is what females should do.

Perhaps you may have tried to embody the traits that were impressed upon you.

And, perhaps you felt rejected when you didn't fit into the "box" of what society wanted of you.

Does this sound familiar to you? I can definitely relate.  

If you would like to take Mimi Ikonn's quiz to find out your dominant energy, please go here.

I was a tomboy growing up. I wanted to play outside, get dirty, push boundaries, and march to the beat of my own drum. I hated dresses and dressing up. I was called stubborn (a LOT) because I wasn't always "obedient". I wanted to do what I wanted to do!

As you can see (and based on my quiz results with a score of 30), I am slightly more masculine dominant in my energy as a female presenting human.

It's normal and natural to be more dominant in one over the other. Nobody is perfectly a 50-50 split.

Masculine Energy Traits Include: logic, confidence, competitiveness, strength, independence, and ambition, to name a few.

Feminine Energy Traits Include: creativity, intuition, free-form, expression, openness, and nurturing, to name a few.

Since we are all more dominant in one energy, we know which qualities comes to us more naturally. However, we need both masculine and feminine energy in balance within ourselves to achieve true harmony. We run into trouble when we are out of balance.

I also want to mention, you do want to own what you got! This is an important part of self-acceptance that is vital to living a peaceful life. And when we are able to harness our less dominant energy, we exercise those less dominant 'muscles', so to speak, and play into our wholeness as individuals.

Too much masculine energy looks like this:

  • Aggression/controlling
  • Can't relax
  • Impatient
  • Unexpressive/repressed emotionally
  • Burnout

Too much feminine energy looks like this:

  • Lack of confidence
  • Non-confrontational
  • Lacking in direction/get-up-and-go
  • May struggle with money (ie., charging others the right amount, as well as over-spending)
  • Depression

The good news is, we can change our habits to reflect which energy we want to pull from. Our brains have neuroplasticity, meaning they can learn, modify, and adapt to new experiences over time.

Not only this, but certain activities and postures increase either estrogen or testosterone in our bodies, helping us to really tap into what is needed.

Why Is This Important?

Whether you are aware of this or not, our world has been dominated by masculine energy for quite some time. As in, millenia, according to the book, Cassandra Speaks: When Women are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes by Elizabeth Lesser.

The imbalances that we see in the world are caused by too much masculine energy. Masculine energy can look like go-go-go, chasing ambitions, working countless hours, never taking a break, and the list goes on.

Society has favored masculine energy and taught us this is the only way to succeed.

It's not sustainable.

We need to honor our divine feminine energy to balance out the masculine dominated world. We need more understanding, nurturing, rest, compassion, and creativity to help heal the world.

Because we are all interconnected.

And how we express our energy in the world matters.

It is the space within our pauses that gives us the greatest access to our intuition - life's greatest compass.

Through this, creativity and solutions can be generated that benefit all people, for the greatest and highest good.

This starts with you!

If you are masculine dominant in your energy (this includes me!)

  • Get in touch with your emotions and learn to express them in healthy ways
  • Ask for help when you need it
  • Meditate
  • Journal
  • Spend time in nature
  • Nap
  • Try gentle exercise, such as yin (restorative) yoga, tai chi, dancing
  • Get a massage
  • Get acupuncture
  • Pet your dog (or any dog!)

You basically want to be able to access your heart, emotions, and intuition (your feminine energy).  When I was younger, I badly injured my knee by running too hard and too much. It taught me to lighten up on the running and pursue other activities, such as yoga and meditation. I still do run, but just not nearly as much, and very casually with my dog, Rocco :)

If you are feminine dominant in your energy:

  • Try more vigorous exercise (high-intensity exercises, weights, barre, boxing, etc.)
  • Stand in "Superman" pose
  • Meditate
  • Take on new challenges
  • Speak your truth
  • Keep your word
  • Believe in yourself!!
  • Volunteer
  • Do puzzles
  • Get outside and get dirty - ie., camping, gardening, etc.
  • Find a DIY project- go change a lightbulb or put together a new piece of furniture! Very satisfying

You basically want to try to increase your physical movement, practice your decision-making, and access your logic and problem-solving skills. You already have it inside of you, you just have to access it!

The goal is not to be perfect, but to harmonize our different parts (rejected, downplayed, or otherwise) and integrate them into our whole selves. It's a matter of maintaining a balance that is healthy and sustainable.

The work starts within each and every one of us.

You got this! xo

Did any of this relate to you? I will love to hear about it. And if you feel compelled, please feel free to share this newsletter ❤

With Love,


Quote: "We aren't meant to be perfect, we are meant to be whole." - Jane Fonda

This post is dedicated to Lisa's mom.  May she rest in peace <3


  1. Ikonn, Mimi. The Bingo Theory: A revolutionary guide to love, light, and relationships. Dreamers & Creators: 2016.
  2. E, Caroline. "The Rise of the Divine Feminine: Connecting to Your Feminine Energy". Ohana Yoga. Date Accessed: June 6, 2022.
  3. Front. Psychol., 04 October 2017 |
  4. Lesser, E. Cassandra Speaks: When Women are the Storytellers, The Human Story Changes. Harper Wave: 2020.

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Angeli Sivaraman is a spiritualist, meditator, nature junkie, and dog mom. She is the creator of Sage Elephant, a blog about spirituality and wellness. She can be reached by email!